If you have read some of my previous articles, you know that I absolutely believe in embracing one’s season of singleness. After all, that is part of the mission of Single, Saved & Secure. At the same time, I encourage every person with a desire for marriage to continue to look forward to that next season and use their current season of singleness in part to prepare for marriage.
Today, allow me to share with you some pearls of wisdom on how to intentionally prepare yourself for that next season you desire. Ladies, this topic is a special one just for you. Though I may be talking to the ladies, this can be applied to the men reading this too.
In a previous article, I’ve shared a few ways you can prepare for marriage as you wait including building your relationship with the Lord, working on your finances and your health just to name a few. However, today I want to focus on two very essential steps that none of us should overlook:
-becoming a wife to Christ
-and seeking wisdom from a Titus 2 woman.
Becoming a wife to Christ should be your primary focus. Whether you are single and desire to remain as such or you’re single and have a desire to marry, learning to submit in complete love to Jesus Christ should always be your priority. If you cannot submit to Christ, how can you expect to ever have a God-honoring marriage? Before God ever gives us an earthly husband, He makes a covenant with us and desires to be our spiritual husband. The vows of that covenant are simple and straight forward:
– love me with all of your heart (Deuteronomy 6:5) just as I love you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3)
-honor me as I honor you (Psalms 91:15b)
-be truthful to me, turn from doing wrong and I will always forgive you (1 John 1:9)
-I will honor the trust you place in me (Proverbs 3:5)
-do my will, etc.
The vows are simple yet like an adulteress woman, we seem to have trouble in keeping our own vows to God. Still, He remains faithful, loving, forgiving and patient. He reads the heart and recognizes the efforts and inner beauty of a woman who fears Him and calls her blessed. In fact, for her great character, her hard work and always walking in her purpose, God says she must be praised. I’m sure by now you recognize the Proverbs 31 woman. Though she had many talents and abilities, God recognized and praised her for her love towards Him and the intimacy of their relationship. She was a devoted woman. This woman was not just a wife to her husband or a mother to her children. Mostly, she was a woman consumed with loving Jesus, worshipping Him, letting Him wake her up before the crack of dawn to romance her and speak to her. What’s more, in every area of her life, Christ was being honored. Whether she was cleaning her home, changing dirty diapers, balancing her cheque book, preparing her husband’s breakfast or going in town to sell produce, she did it all with joy onto God and love for service. Her character is a reflection of Christ’s character. The more time she spent with Him (which she did in every activity of her day), the more she began to resemble Him. Wherever the Lord led her, she gladly went and never hesitated to obey Him as she trusted that He knew best. She always allowed Jesus to lead her life.
This is who, we, ladies need to become as we prepare in this season. This is how we prepare, by following this woman’s example to love, trust, obey, submit to Christ and invite Him in all of our activities. One look at this woman and we see just how intentional she was about her relationship with the Lord. Likewise, we must become so invested in this primary relationship, that no other will satisfy because a wife to Christ will settle for nothing less than a beautiful bond with her Savior. Like the woman of Proverbs 31, our relationship/marriage to Christ must come first and Jesus must be our first love.
~ Our highest calling is to love, serve, and obey Christ. This is a far higher calling than marriage. ~
The wisdom that comes from God is like no other, which is why we need Him in our preparation for marriage. In addition to His wisdom, God also imparts much wisdom to us through other people. In Titus chapter two, the Word of God tells us that:
“In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered.” (Titus 2:3-5 csb)
As women desiring marriage and preparing for it, our preparation will not be complete without seeking the wisdom of more mature, experienced, and older God-fearing women around us. Regardless of our age, there is always another woman in our entourage who can teach us much in the marriage department. Just find one or many. If we truly want to prepare well for marriage, seeking out such women is a must. Our curiosity should be about their experience, what they would do differently, what lessons they learned in the journey, what marriage revealed to them about their own character, how it caused them to change, etc. Become inquisitive!
If we apply ourselves and truly wish to learn from such women, they will teach us much and help us avoid many potential pitfalls. Perhaps a lesson that took them five or ten years to learn in their marriage may take far less time for us if we glean from their wisdom and value their insight.
At times, we shy away from those with gray hair thinking we know better. Oh no, let me tell you that a godly woman with gray hair is a treasure from heaven. Let one be your mentor. Though not all women will necessarily have their grays yet, many may have experiences and maturity far beyond their years and valuable lessons to share. They can pass on to you what they wish their younger selves would have known. Be sensitive to recognize and discern those types of women. Otherwise, you may miss out on some serious gems. Many of those women may not have reached their fifties or even forties yet but their life-altering experiences produce a fruit that you will not want to let go to waste.
Most of us, especially these days in the Christian world, know about the Proverbs 31 woman. Well, the Titus 2 woman is just as important. As a matter of fact, the Titus 2 woman is a Proverbs 31 woman with years of experiences, increased wisdom, and she has a heart to empower and encourage other women on the verge of becoming Proverbs 31 women themselves. She is the upgrade to the Proverbs 31 woman, so don’t despise her. Celebrate her! Embrace her! Let your ears be attentive to her words. She may just teach you a few things that even the best of books cannot. Let her become a mentor and confidante.
Ladies, it’s time to get to work. If you’re a wife in the making, your preparation must include these two essentials aspects: becoming a wife to Christ and letting yourself be taught by a spiritual mother/Titus 2 woman.
Above all, remember that when you devote yourself to becoming a wife to Christ first, He, your ultimate first husband and teacher, will prepare you best for your earthly husband. You won’t know everything there is to know about marriage by your wedding day. Even the best of preparation cannot fully prepare you. However, preparation goes a long way. Preparing your life and most importantly preparing your heart. Marriage is a journey and God will lead you through it day by day. Until the day comes that your spiritual husband hands you over to your earthly husband, let Him and those He places in your life teach you and prepare you adequately.