Before The One

Being single is not always easy and to be quite honest, it does not always seem nor feel as if it’s a gift. Yet, it is! It is a gift from God that most of us do not even realize we need. Most times, we are so concerned about being in a relationship, afraid of being alone even for a time, that we completely miss the point and true purpose of this gift altogether.

A season of singleness can be a true blessing. It is often a season when God seems to “hide” us to keep us to Himself and work on us. We are then able to spend a substantial amount of time with God, allowing us to know Him better by investing time in prayer and in His Word. This is a season when God is able to shape and mold us without distractions, heal us, deliver us and do an amazing work of transforming us to resemble his Son more. Also, this is the time when God tends to direct us towards our purpose, a valuable aspect of our lives. All of this takes place before we meet the infamous “one”.

From the very beginning, singleness was a part of life. In the Garden of Eden, Adam, while alone and unattached, was able to spend quality time with God and commit to his purpose. While being single, God placed Adam in the garden to “dress it and to keep it ” (Genesis 2:15). Then, He left him in charge of all the animals to name them and care for them. Adam had a clear purpose in addition to our common purpose of glorifying God, worshiping him and building a loving relationship with Him. Just as Adam discovered his purpose during his season of singleness, God gives us the gift of singleness, in part, for us to discover ours which in turn will make it more evident (to those of us who desire marriage) to know which kind of helpmate or purpose-mate we need in our lives. After all, our purpose and our future spouse’s purpose must align with one another.

Yet, the true gift of singleness belongs to those who can spend a lifetime of happiness and contentment being single while living a godly life. In one of his sermons, pastor John Piper shared the ultimate three blessings of singleness.

  1. First, singleness bears witness to the fact that the family of God grows by regeneration through faith, not propagation. This life of singleness should be lived with joy, reaching out to those in need and the poor. It’s a life of true servant leadership.
  2. Second, singleness reveals that relationships in Christ are even more precious than relationships within our natural family. Indeed, the family of God is eternal while our earthly families can be broken, marked by the scars of divorce, the painful absence of a parent, and ultimately separation through death. On the other hand, our spiritual family will last forever and is bonded by our love for Jesus and each other through Him.
  3. Finally, singleness bears witness to the truth that marriage is temporary and meant to give way to our ultimate marriage covenant to Christ.

In these ways, singleness reveals the abundant grace and glory of God in ways that not even marriage could, just as marriage displays truths regarding the grace and glory of God in ways that singleness cannot.

If you question whether singleness is truly a gift or not think about the apostle Paul. Paul was thrilled to be single, believed he had received this gift to devote his life to Christ. (see 1 Corinthians 7:6-8)  Paul did not have to worry about leaving a wife and family at home while doing the Lord’s work which often involved getting arrested. He counted it a blessing to share the Gospel while on all his mission trips, teaching, preaching and even building churches where he went.

If you’ve been given the gift of singleness as we all have our own gift from God, embrace it. Live a life fully surrendered to Christ and commit to serving others in love. If you have not been given this long-term gift, treasure this temporary season of singleness, indulge in sacred moments with God, discover and pursue your purpose, strengthen the family of God while serving with your whole heart. And, when you least expect it, God will position you in the presence of “the one”. Until then, keep busy with the affairs of God and life.

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1 Comment

  1. Thank you Keshia for your well written article on before the one I was not only . impressed but I was also blessed You were definitely inspired Continue writing we all need this kind of positive out look of life

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