Why Am I Still Waiting ?

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5 

I am still single.

It’s the beginning of a new year and as some started out embracing their loved ones, kissing their spouses or getting engaged on New Year’s, I was started this new year single. Again. I couldn’t understand why. I too wanted life companion, marriage, and children. And so on that January 1st night, I prayed to God and asked Him again for my heart’s desire.

The desire to finally be united to “the one” God had for me out there in the world was growing stronger and stronger each day. I was at that place where I no longer wanted to be single. I no longer wanted to sit next to an empty chair in church on Sabbaths. I wanted someone to come home to, to build a life with, and start a family.

So again for the second time that night, I went to God in prayer and something along these lines:

“Lord God, daddy, won’t you make it happen for me please. You know my heart, you know my intentions and I really believe I’m ready…”.

I poured my heart out to Him. But His answer, which I knew all too well, was still the same “wait, not yet…” How frustrating is that right? If you’re anything like me, you don’t often ask for stuff and when you do it’s often big requests that you pray in faith and expect God to answer.

I didn’t understand why God kept me in the wait. Why not yet I wondered? As happy as I was to see others getting married, having baby showers and the likes, I wanted to experience all of it for myself too. I was ready for marriage: the good, the bad and the ugly. Or so I thought.

A few months later, while at an all-night prayer meeting, I made my request again. This time, God had a lot more to say. He revealed to me my pride and some areas of my life I had not yet surrendered to Him. He asked me to submit to Him and surrender myself fully. “How can I give your heart to this man yet if you haven’t given it to me?” he said. That hit me like a ton of brick. I had been so badly hurt in the past that I had been protected my heart even from God it seemed. He could not give to another what He did not have because I had not given it to Him.

Have you given your heart to God yet?

Are you completely surrendered to the Lord? Or, are you still holding on to bits of it out of fear of being hurt or disappointed again?

Friend, God knows how to take care of your heart. He knows how to deal with the beautiful and the ugly. He doesn’t care about how messy it is but He cares about having it all. He wants it all. Won’t you give Him your heart?

As I let these words sink into my spirit, I was overwhelmed with peace and comfort. I finally understood that this stage of my life wasn’t a punishment. It was an opportunity to have more of God, an opportunity to trust Him and be completely reliant on Him and prepare for the future.

Friend, trust God in your season of singleness. Your wait is not in vain. If you find yourself still in the wait, God has a reason for it. Just surrender to Him, trust Him and be open to what he wants to do in your life.

Prayer:

Loving Father, I thank you for caring about my salvation, my needs, my happiness, and me. Thank you for this season of my life. Thank you that your plans for me are good even if I don’t always understand them. Help me to trust you daily and not lean on my own limited understanding. When I get tired of waiting, remind me to be of good courage. Show me how to take advantage of this season and wait on you well. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Dig deeper:

Psalm 18:2 NKJV
Psalm 34:8

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